I want to have your babies
She sang into the microphone
As my cheeks became wet
Suddenly and overwhelmingly
I became aware of your presence
In the dark theatre next to me
Later, an awkward exchange -
Seeds of mistrust planted
I didn’t want to hold your hand
And pretend that I was ok
So I sailed inward and escaped
Strumming the music on my chest instead of entwining my fingers with yours
Tossing and turning all night next to you
My heart aching because we aren’t touching
Feeling utterly stranded and fully confused
I imagine that I rise from the heavy blankets
And run out the door, and down the path, not stopping until I reach the edge of the Pacific Ocean
In the hazy light of morning, I pout long enough for you to inquire,
Looking at me with bleary eyes lying in the bed next to you but also so far far away,
What’s on your mind?
Everything.
Everywhere.
All at once.