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  • Writer's pictureMelissa Berry

I didn't want to hold your hand

Updated: Mar 25, 2023

I want to have your babies

She sang into the microphone

As my cheeks became wet

Suddenly and overwhelmingly

I became aware of your presence

In the dark theatre next to me

Later, an awkward exchange -

Seeds of mistrust planted

I didn’t want to hold your hand

And pretend that I was ok

So I sailed inward and escaped

Strumming the music on my chest instead of entwining my fingers with yours

Tossing and turning all night next to you

My heart aching because we aren’t touching

Feeling utterly stranded and fully confused

I imagine that I rise from the heavy blankets

And run out the door, and down the path, not stopping until I reach the edge of the Pacific Ocean

In the hazy light of morning, I pout long enough for you to inquire,

Looking at me with bleary eyes lying in the bed next to you but also so far far away,

What’s on your mind?



All at once.

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