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  • Writer's pictureMelissa Berry


Updated: Jan 20, 2022

Have you ever lost touch with yourself? Felt out of sorts? Have you ever looked around your life or at your reflection in the mirror without recognition?

I sat down in the salon chair with confidence. "Let's do the chop," I exclaimed, hungry for change but woefully unprepared for one this drastic. Laura enthusiastically cut more than 24 inches of hair, turning my torso-length mane into a bob in an hour and a half's time. I felt that I had become trapped by the long hair that I had cherished for so long - I was worried that I was defining my entire fashion identity by my hairstyle and I needed to break out of the box I had climbed inside. My long hair became a security blanket of sorts - I could hide behind the length and beauty - for me to hide behind. A hat and hair down always looked good so I found myself wearing my hair down with a hat every day, without much differentiation. I rarely used my headbands, wore earrings, scarves or necklaces aside from a rotation of 3-4 cherished ones. I found myself packing up a bunch of scarves that I had worn extensively in my early 20s because I no longer reached for them - my long hair proved too much for scarves and I would often fell claustrophobic if I wore one. I approached the packing away of the scarves with objectivity but it made me feel sad in a way I hadn't expected. When Laura told me that she couldn't do a perm - my first idea for a crazy different look - I decided to just go for it. "Cut it all off, " I told her.

I walked in channeling my inner bohemian farm mama goddess (think long dresses, cowboy hats, boots, and long necklaces) and less than two hours later, spotted in the mirror a sexy manic pixie farmgirl (I had a sudden desire to wear all black and start smoking cigarettes).

What I wasn't prepared for was the whirlwind of identify shifting it would spur for both me, my husband, and our marriage.

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